Yesterday, I wrote about submission and how it’s not what society makes it out to be. It doesn’t mean that you are a ‘1950’s housewife’. You are not a doormat that your hubby walks all over and treats like a child. Submission is so different than that, and it took me a very long time to come to terms with that.
I was of the opinion that if I ‘submitted‘ that I was giving up myself. I was giving away all of my rights as an adult. I was basically transferring from one Dad to another. Then I was convicted of how my mouth controlled my life.
As I started controlling my tongue, submitting came naturally. When I fought the urge to run my mouth about things, I was submitting without even knowing it. Just purely by refusing to nag, argue, or have to be right I was submitting, or putting someone above myself. I see it as going hand in hand with being selfless. Someone needs to have the final say and the Bible clearly states that it is not to be me. So, if I am going to live by Biblical principles, this is my only option…regardless of what society says.
As for society, when everyone’s marriages are as good as mine, I may consider their arguments on how bad and degrading submission is.
I have heard it said that some women have tried to submit and let their hubby lead and he won’t. To that I say this: You’re wrong!
This was me! I felt this way. If you read my post yesterday, you saw that I was convinced that I was better suited for the ‘leadership’ position than my hubby was. He was quiet, reserved, and just was a go-with-the-flow type of guy. He never fought me on the decisions I made. I took that as him not wanting to lead. I, on the other hand, have always been a natural born leader. I had no problem making decisions and thought I knew best. We were talking about this yesterday and he said, “It was just easier than arguing.”
As I started to be conscious about controlling my tongue and putting others before myself, my hubby started to emerge as a leader for our family. I knew that he had been in leadership positions at work and excelled in that area, but with our family…..that was a whole different story. I mean, what would people think if he made the wrong decisions and something bad happened in our family? How would people react if I followed his lead, which others may not agree with?
I found that the more I relinquished control and put his needs first, the more he stepped up. He has since then developed amazing leadership qualities and has literally ‘bloomed’ in front of my eyes. He has made some decisions that others didn’t necessarily agree with, but I trust him and stand behind him 100%.
I learned that I can’t control him, but I can control myself. I can step back and let him make decisions. If they turn out to be wrong, I’ll be there to put the pieces back together. I can’t begin to tell you how he’s changed since I came to this conclusion. He is doing things and talking in ways that I never thought I’d see. He’s truly the leader of this family. As hard as it was to start, submission and controlling your mouth does get easier. Putting others first does begin to come naturally after a time. It doesn’t take long to see results. Immediately after I stepped back, he stepped up.
As much as it took to happen, I thank God that I saw the light. I have never been more attracted to my hubby. Each time he shows leadership, I feel more protected and taken care of. As much as I thought I liked control, I like feeling protected more.
Give your hubby’s a chance. Even if you think they won’t ‘step-up’, they might surprise you. I have gone from a place of having to be in charge to cringing when I see loud, degrading, complaining women. Like I mentioned above, society says this is the way to be but society is falling apart, who are they to give advice? My marriage is better than it has ever been……..even if you don’t agree with me, it’s worth a try…..don’t you think? It’s amazing what men can accomplish with a little respect and backing from the woman they love.
Next up….being thankful/content with what you have been given….until then……