I am facing yet another challenge in the arena of parenting. I have noticed that most of the words that come out of my girls’ mouths are almost hateful. They have no patience with each other. They play for a while, but then when something happens that they don’t like they immediately turn into screaming, ranting idiots (pardon the phrase….or for me calling my children that, but that is truly how crazy they act). I am partly to blame for this, as I tend to be a ‘yeller’. I hate it and don’t want to be, but that is a issue that I am working on. I have been trying to keep my voice low and gentle. I have been trying to ask for their attention before telling them something that I want them to do, so that I know they heard me and will do it, squashing the possibility of disobedience and therefore induce yelling.
I, unfortunately, have already passed this issue to my children. We have recently made them begin using ‘yes, sir’ and ‘yes, maam’ to discourage back talk and command respect. That is a work in progress, but it’s helping. Now what to do to discourage the hatefulness running rampant in my house. I understand that sibling rivalry is normal, but this is out of control. They have very little tolerance for each other. I will be researching some verses to share with them and hopefully, that will allow them to act the way they should to be closer to God and not just to please us. They seem to respond well when we show them in scripture how they should act and not just demand it to make us, as parents, happy.
We have so much fun together and I am so excited that they are out of school for the summer, but I want it to be pleasant. I am working on my patience and being stern but gentle. I have also started telling them, in the morning that ‘this is the way it is going to go today…….if what you say isn’t going to make someone else feel good, then don’t open your mouth’. If I start off the day by saying those words, I am setting the stage for what I want the day to be like. I also remind myself that yelling (like an idiot) isn’t the answer. If I want my children to be pleasant, I need to model it. Hopefully, it won’t take too long to ‘fix’ what I ‘broke’.
What are your favorite Bible verses regarding ‘the mouth (tongue)’, ‘effective discipline’, ‘kindness towards others’, or any other topic relevant to children treating each other with love and kindness?