Most people are so negative they have to say ‘no’ 7 times before they say ‘yes'” ~ Les Brown
7 times. Why? Why are people so scared of change? So scared of things being different…..even to the point of staying miserable because change is just too much to handle.
I will say that I am in this camp more than I would like to admit. As a recovering people pleaser with many instances of relapse, I totally get not wanting to be that person.
That person that preaches too much. That person that is trying to sell you something. That person that is seemingly everywhere trying to get you to do things that you don’t want to do. That person that keeps coming back again and again and bugging you when you’ve already told them no. That person that has changed their life and for some reason feels that you need to change yours too. That person that continually goes on and on about the things that they are excited about.
I know, they got on my nerves too. Until I started seeing them (and myself) in a different light. What if they were onto something? What if they had an answer to my problem? What if I was staying miserable because I am so negative and caught up in myself that I was missing something that may be an answer to prayer?
Do you ever talk to people and discount everything they say because if you were to believe what they were saying, you’d have to change? You’d have to put in some work? You’d have to quit complaining about yourself and change your circumstances? You’d have to admit that you really are just existing instead of living, but living means making changes?
I am a famous quitter. I quit everything that I start. This year, the word that I kept hearing and seeing all over was diligent. Last year, it was be still. I spent the year being still. Learning, listening, healing myself (inside and out).
Now that I feel led to move on to diligence, it’s scary! It means that I need to go after my God-given dreams, even if I go alone. It means that I need to put in the work even if no one responds. It means that I need to push on even when it’s hard.
I so desperately don’t want to be that person, that I drop out. I quit.
I struggle to put myself out there on social media because I think, “Who cares? No one cares what you are having for lunch”. But what if they do? What if someone that never speaks up needed an idea or help starting to eat healthy? If I don’t share something so “stupid” as my lunch, am I hindering them?
If I don’t share a workout, am I giving others the impression that I’m not committed, so they take time off too? If I don’t share my journey to working for myself from home, am I keeping them from financial freedom because others may see me as that person?
These are all the things that I think when I don’t share on social media. But by hiding, I am not moving forward. Because I am not moving forward, I quit. Because I quit, I’m stuck in the same place year after year after year.
Stuck in a less than stellar financial position. Stuck in a body that is not in the best shape that it could be. Stuck in my own limited thinking and fear that if people don’t flock to me that I’m not going to make it, so I might as well quit.
The quote above really struck me. We heard the speech it came from at my company’s conference last August and it struck me then too.
Many people don’t even know what they are missing out on because they are stuck in negativity. Stuck in a mentality that everyone is out to harm them. Stuck in the thinking that they are just living the hand that they were dealt in life and are powerless to change it.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR SITUATION. YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS TO CHANGE IT. YOU CAN DO BETTER AND BE BETTER.
Another quote from Les Brown is this, “You gotta be HUNGRY”. You’ve got to be hungry for change. You have got to be sick and tired of your life the way it is. Sick and tired of being physically sick and tired. Sick and tired of being financially unstable. Sick and tired of letting others dictate your life.
It’s time we get out of our own heads. It’s time we stop telling outselves that it’s too late and nothing can change. It’s time that we stop believing the lies that we are just unlucky and we can’t do better and be better with our lives.
My mom used to always tell us “can’t never did anything”. Now, that was normally when we didn’t want to do something and we wanted her to do it for us, but it absolutely applies here also. You not wanting to do something is totally different than you not being capable of doing something.
You don’t really want to lose weight or you could (or find out what is going on in your body to cause it to retain weight). You don’t really want to get out of debt or you’d find every last way to make money and get it done. You don’t really want to be financially free or leave your job because if you did, you’d get out there and do something different. Admit it, you are comfortable miserable. You are not happy with your life circumstances, but you are too negative to say yes to anything that would change the trajectory of your life.
I am totally preaching to myself here. Stop with the negativity. Stop with the overthinking. Stop with the fear because it looks too hard or unachievable. The greatest at anything was once a beginner.
Start where you are. Don’t be critical of everyone and everything. Take one step at a time. Do not give up. You can change your timeline or your path, but don’t give up progress to your goals. Fail and try again. Don’t listen to others and don’t look to others to validate you. Surround yourself with positive people and people that will push you to keep going when you want to quit.
I am finally ready to move forward. The first 3 months of 2018 have been tough and I’ve chickened out of my goals and dreams too many times……but I haven’t quit. I may have stalled a bit, but I am so sure of my word diligent being perfect for me right now, that I won’t allow any quitting.
People may get tired of seeing me, but that is ok. They can choose to move on. I want to be surrounded by those that are sick of the negativity and are ready to live their lives intentionally; on purpose for a purpose.
Carrie Wilkerson, The Barefoot Executive, teaches that you have to put yourself out there if you want people to know what you do. For me, this means putting myself out there so that people know what I am moving towards in my life. I am moving towards building my business around helping and serving others in the areas of total body health and wellness. Mind, body, and soul healing.
It is not up to others to remember what I’m doing. It is up to me to put myself out there so that when a person that needs my help is ready, they can find me. If I stay stuck in the negative space, I would stop putting myself out there after a few days of no responses. I would think, “no one cares, no one wants to work with you, you are in over your head, you are becoming that person and people are going to get irritated”.
BUT what if I continue to provide value? What if I continue to put advice out there that people need? What if I decide that when my people are ready they will find me because I didn’t stop when it felt like nothing was happening? I didn’t fall back into my own insecurities that no response meant that people were irritated with me. Chances are, people aren’t even thinking about me as much as I give them credit for. Do you find this to be true about yourself too? Do you often quit before you really get started?
What opportunities are you passing by because you are so stuck in your own negativity? Financial, personal, physical, all of the above? I would love to be your cheerleader if you are ready to move forward and get out of the comfortable misery that you are living in. Are there people that you see doing great things in your life and you are just watching from the sidelines because you are paralyzed with fear and what if’s? Paralyzed by fear of failure?
What are you waiting for??? Make the changes now……time is not something that you can ever get back so don’t waste it. You are stronger than you think and you are capable of more than you can imagine. Let yourself dream then act. It’s never too late.
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