Granted, we’re not anywhere near New Year’s yet….but I found this verse again today and that is what it reminds me of (that and the Christmas in July posts that just ended here have me in the festive mood :).
He does not live in fear of bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen. For he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him. ~ Psalm 112:7 (emphasis mine)
While most of the world is busy making resolutions and looking forward to the year to come, especially if the previous year was rough, I am normally busy worrying. My thoughts always seem to drift back to fear and dread of what the new year may bring. What if something happened to my husband? What if something happened to my children? What if anything bad happened to anyone close to me? I always seemed to be thinking, “What if this time next year I am looking back minus a child or being a widow saying, ‘If only I’d known the heartache this year would bring?'” How do you get excited about what should be a ‘new beginning’ when you are full of fear?
For God gave us a spirit, not of fear but of power, love, and self-control. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (emphasis mine)
This fear and worry I was experiencing wasn’t from God. He did not give me a spirit of fear. He also instructs me to not worry or live in fear of what MAY happen (not even what WILL happen, but MAY happen).
So don’t be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of your tomorrow, too. Live one day at a time. ~ Matthew 6:34
The more time I spend in The Word, the more and more content I’m becoming. I’ve come to terms that the pressure I put on my hubby to be my savior and my everything wasn’t fair to him. It was putting undue stress on me (and him when he didn’t live up) by expecting all from him that only God can give.
What it boils down to is that I was TERRIFIED that my hubby was going to die (for whatever reason) and I would absolutely not be able to survive. I could usually keep myself sane about it, but New Year’s always brought out the same ‘ol fear. The more I dwelt on it, the more depressed about it I became (and ornery..because it would be easier to lose him if I was already mad at him, right?? Sounds silly even as I write, but it was my reality). The thing is…..HE ISN’T DEAD. I was wasting any time I have with him worrying about what will happen tomorrow. I can’t change the future. I can’t prevent bad things from happening. I can, however, spend my time making the absolute best of the time I am given with those who mean the world to me.
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that. ~ James 4:14-15
I pray daily for my hubby’s safety. I pray that he will be brought home safely to us. The difference is now I am not pleading with God, because I am afraid of the alternative. We are ALL a mist and WILL ALL vanish at some point. I am now asking God to bring my hubby home to us safely, if it is His will . I thank the Lord for him and for his place in our lives. I thank Him for every day I’m given with my hubby (and my children), but if it’s not His will for him (or them) to come home one day, I need to be okay with that, too.
With that being said….this verse at the beginning of this post reminds me that even if something horrible were to happen, God will take care of me. He will comfort me like no one else could. I would still be devastated should something take my hubby or any of my children from me, but I would be okay….I would no longer be hopeless. My life could, and would, continue on….
And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what would happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. ~ 1 Thess. 4:13
That realization is life changing and freeing. I can look forward to the daily and also to the future. I can happily plan how my hubby and I will grow old together without freaking out that he may not be around to bring those plans to fruition. I can be excited for the day that my girls get married and have babies of their own. I feel that these verses and also this realization made me free to truly love my family. Worry takes too much energy and it was my family that was paying the price. Be fully present, live life like there is no tomorrow, don’t waste precious fleeting time worrying that tomorrow may never come…..because at some point, it won’t….and you can’t change that, so use the time you have now.