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I recently read a book called Present Over Perfect, by Shauna Niequist. There were so many points in this book that I resonated with, but one that really stuck out to me was the idea that I seem to be chasing someone else’s calling. I wrote this in my journal:
What if the reason that I struggle with following other’s direction for success is because it’s all about the hustle? About getting louder and making a huge impression. Maybe I’m wired to find, and use, my purpose in the quiet, introspective space. Maybe my gift that others will relate to will come out of, what some may call, wasted time or lethargy or laziness. Maybe my desire to be slow and find myself is my thing. Maybe I am a writer and my quiet stillness is my gift to this world. Maybe my self reflection and my story will be what helps someone else to be the best them that they can be and they will stop chasing what others say is the best way to success.
I have written a lot lately about being still. About being quiet. About listening. I am very much at home with a book and a journal. I love to make lists, sort things out on paper, plan on paper, and just get it all out on paper. I’m not much for technology when it comes to lists or calendars or the like. I guess you could say that I’m still old fashioned that way, and I’m ok with that!
While I feel that my need to just listen needs to be improved upon, I am absolutely comfortable in the space of quiet introspection. However, so often, I feel like I am wasting time when I’m just reading, writing, or journaling to try to get a grasp on all that is going on in my head.
I think in this day and age with all of the technology, our message is to not waste time. To get out there and get heard. To push ourselves to be more, do more, strive for more. But whenever I try this route, I fall flat. I am just not that person.
I am the person that drools over the pictures on Facebook of the log cabin and the words that say, “Would you live here with no tv, internet, etc for a month for $100,000” and I am shouting “YES, absolutely!!! The money would just be a bonus!” (As long as I have unlimited notebooks, books, fun pens, and highlighters, of course :))
I know that there are going to be some situations that push me to go outside of myself so that I can accomplish my purpose here on this earth. I am ok with being pushed outside of my comfort zone, but I am not ok with chasing someone else’s version of what I should do for success.
While my voice is loud and my house is chaotic, I really am a thinker. I really do flourish in the small quiet spaces. I need quiet time to think and recharge. I don’t need to be on all of the time.
I feel like embracing who I am and who I am wired to naturally be, is ultimately going to lead to my success. It may take me longer than following someone’s 10 step process, but that is what worked for them. If I’m not true to myself, the results won’t be long lasting anyway.
As I mentioned before, I have made some small steps forward in my life. I am learning to embrace the journey because no one has or will walk my path. I am seeking the best place for me and if that looks lazy or like time wasted to someone else, that is ok.
I keep reading the phrase “be yourself, everyone else is taken”. But, seriously, it’s so true! What I am learning and my past is my story. I feel like the beginning of my purpose is to tell my story. Share my past, what I’m learning now, where I hope to go in the future…..transparency, relatability, support, a listening ear. Where that will take me and how quickly it will take me anywhere is yet to be determined, but for now, this is my baby step in the right direction.
I’m always excited to keep learning and improving, but some people’s systems won’t be right for me and I’m ok with that. I will keep pushing and discover MY best self, one step at a time.
How about you? Do you feel like you are spinning your wheels trying to find yourself in someone else’s “proven” path to success? What are YOUR strengths? What can YOU stick to so that lasting change or improvement is gained?
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