Ironically, today was going to be a video day, however, I am out of data on my internet plan so uploading video will just take too long. So, writing about videos is what’s going to happen. Ha-Ha
A few days ago, I was coming out of my bedroom and I heard my late husband’s voice. It stopped me in my tracks. You see, as much as I try, I’m having a hard time remembering his voice. It’s heartbreaking.
Enter the videos.
My daughter found a video recorder that he had. On it are a few different videos of my 2 older girls fishing with him and his brother and also my 2 littles coyote hunting with him.
To hear his voice again was amazing.
I’m sure that many of you have lost someone close to you. It’s hard. It’s hard when you start to forget, but how do you fix it? Can forgetting be stopped somehow? Yes it can, and this is how……
You don’t wait.
You don’t not take pictures because you are too fat, your hair isn’t done, or you don’t like your wrinkles. You don’t not take videos because you don’t like your voice, your outfit is wrong, or because you are acting silly. When you are gone, NONE of that will matter to your family.
I am the first to delete pictures because I’m not happy with myself. I re-did my video blog about 10 times the other day because I don’t know how to edit and I kept “getting it wrong”. I sat up my phone, computer, and camera about 100 different ways/angles so that I didn’t look “gross”. I am overly critical of myself, but loss has given me a new perspective and I’m desperately trying to do better….not only for myself but also for my family.
I am extremely self-conscious about doing video, but that video of my girls and their dad the other night helped us to remember. To laugh and reminisce. It let us connect to him again. Don’t I want to give that to my family?
My littles are always shooting videos on their tablets. Acting silly. No reservations. Should the unthinkable happen to them, those little silly videos would be priceless. It would be no different if something happened to you. Your family would treasure every little thing that kept their memories of you concrete; something they can watch, listen to, physically hold in their hand.
I am on a journey to accept myself. I am not happy where I am, physically, but I am working on it. I’m working on it in a smart, sensible, everlasting way. I am learning to love myself just the way I am. I have to because my family is worth it. I am worth it. I am loved and I will reciprocate that love by making sure that in my passing, they have memories to somewhat ease their transition.
You only have today. Make the most of it. Technology is everywhere. Take the picture. Record the video. Stop deleting!!! Stop overanalyzing!!!
Get over yourself and do it for your family. Someday these may be the only concrete reminders that they have of you, don’t rob them of memories (that WILL begin to fade) because you are so wrapped up in yourself that you refuse pictures or videos.
For what it’s worth, many times I look back at pictures or videos months later and discover that they really weren’t as bad as I first thought. Take the stinkin pictures, the day will come that your family needs them!
Do you know someone that will benefit from this? Please like and/or share!